no sleep. again. for fucks sake i need to sleep but i just can't.
what does it bring i wonder. new adventures, new responsibilities, new loves. quite looking forward to it. last year of school, time to make an effort.
what was my new years resolution? oh, do well in my hsc, drink more, smoke more. the end. simple enough, i hope.
amidst all the woefulness of my friends about being in batemans bay i have discovered a new love for the beaches here. a new love for the quirky locals. i don't care anymore. i'm here another year, i may as well try to enjoy it. it's my last year of school for fucks sake! no use being miserable. sure i'm going to be stressed and may attempt to sexually asphxiate my self, but it'll be pretty fun. i'm determined to make it so.
i just feel like i've been all lost and weirded out for so long. so fucking miserable in this place, about the people i've lost and the people i can't seem to gain. the opportunites i've turned down and regretted and the opportunities i've accepted and regretted. i'm alive, isn't that something to be happy about? i am so young and have so many amazing years ahead of me. i'm not going to get stuck in this mindset that i can't do it, i can't achieve it, i can't take what i want and go for it. i don't care what anyone thinks. i'm happy. i'm really happy. i have my books, my friends, my music, my beach, my life. no doubt this will all change a million times before tomorrow. i'm happy where i am right now, and i don't need anyone messin' it up! so get back mother lickers! i'm determined to make 09 the best year of my fucking life.
What are you most looking forward to this week? What are you least looking forward to?
This is my last week fo school before our 6 week summer break. I cannot wait for Friday afternoon because after that.. after our six week break.. I'll return to school for my final year. I will never have to go back there again after next year and that is such an overwhelming concept.
I am least looking forward to the vast amount of assignments and classwork that I have due this week since I have been a terrible student and done very little.
Is it possible for your ability to love and be loved, to break? To never surface again? Sometimes I feel.. as if everything I want..everything I desire is just over this hill that I can't seem to get past. I hate that I feel as if no one could love me. I hate that I feel resentment towards those who do love me. I say that I love so many things, but to be honest, I barely believe myself anymore.
of all the people, of all the places, in this world I only want to be here:
It really just seems as if you would feel completely humbled at the site of this city amidst the clouds. So alone, yet not lonely. Never lonely. You would feel as if the universe is at your fingertips.
I really need a holiday.
These are my best friends :) Haha.
Show us your library card.
I don't need one. I practically live in the book exchange. Then I can keep the books.
i had such a lovely day.
I went christmas shopping with mum, which isn't really so fun, but we got to buy toys for my little cousins. How cool are kids toys these days!? My gosh. I made my mum buy my little cousin Sally this Bratz doll that had glasses and a laptop, because she's a smart Bratz doll. I want to let Sally know that you can be both smart and beautiful!
Then I went to my most favourite place in all of Batemans Bay...the book exchange.
I bought the book The Third Eye by T. Lobsang Rampa - a fictious Tibetan Monk, then I bought a book about cowboys that was given to Gordon on his birthday in 1929 by Ashley and Andrew. It's got lovely text and old worn pages.
And I got a book about a 1920's detective.
I am such a nerd. It's sickening. Yay books! :D
Show us your favorite star from the 90s.
Submitted by Witch Hazel.
Well, they weren't confined to the 90's, but that's when Sex & The City started, so I pick Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Charlotte York and Miranda Hobbs :)
Openly keep, store away, or toss completely? What do you think should be done with past gifts from old flames after you've broken up and are with someone new?
Submitted by miy6ko.
Keep. Your relationship may have changed, but that doesn't mean your memories have.
What do you see yourself doing on this day next year?
Submitted by Beautifully Broken.
I will have finished mh HSC, granted i make it through, and I will be lying in the sun drinking cocktails.
Yep :)
